Temple of the Dark Moon

it is never easy to write things that u want that can be read by others. afterall, ur thoughts are here in ur mind. only the ones that can see the light are translated into words, written down, and blogged for that matter. However, to blog, is to filter. To filter, is to screen away thoughts, words, ideas that will destroy you if they are known. Whatever that is available in public, is nothing but events and experiences you wish to share. a little disappointment is alright. positive vibes are vibrated throughout the world, the negatives ones are carefully contained lest it returns to haunt you.

its probably wise to not tell the world exactly what you think. even i thought that is practical. that is why for those who write, a diary is the most secret of all realms anyone can possess besides the mind itself. the mind concocts these ideas, these imaginations, these memories. and if you pay any attention to your mind at all u will notice that they replay themselves again and again and again. writting a diary is something like a pensieve. it does not leave u entirely of course, but it allows u to draw that thought out and examine it in a different way. it does in a way, allows your mind to be less crowded and overwhelmed by thoughts.

and that is why loneliness knows no prejudice. I do not know how many thought of this, but if you think u surround yourself with the entire world you will never be lonely… then u most probably are living in denial. the silence of the world will creep back to you in waves. the sounds and voices of ur fellow humans will slowly fade into nothingness. and that is when u stand alone, in the dark, or light for that matter. this is because whatever you do, your ”ghost" exist in your mind forever. it will never go away no matter what u do. no matter how much u try to escape. it will always find you.

in that silence you will only hear yourself. u will only hear your voice. to listen or not… will be entirely up to you. they say u can run but u cannot hide; for how can one ever hide from oneself? one can always deny, but one can never hide. There is always a reason when u are engulfed by that eerie silence. whenever it comes, it is time to listen to what it has to say. time to reflect on what it has to say. what it says may not be true; what it says may not be good; what it has to say may infact be what you have already known but never accepted. it is a mystery as to why loneliness can never be eliminated. maybe its because of all the things in the world, it is our mind that no one can fully understand. maybe its because of that, there is no one in the world to consult except yourself. there maybe questions with answers only found in each individual beings for no two answers may ever be exactly alike because no 2 humans are alike.

loneliness to me is both appreciated and feared at the same time. it is what has made me what i am today with the questions and answers i found from within it. But perhaps it is with the existence of conversations; the existences of laughter; the existence of bond that truly give birth the fear of loneliness. perhaps when one experiences the sights and sounds of the world outside, the eerie silence of the walls within are never visited. lay forgotten. ignored. because inside here, when u cry, there will be no one to hear you, no one to comfort you. when u laugh, no one will laugh with you. when u scream, no one can feel your pain. perhaps, the scariest thing about loneliness is the fact that you have to bear every smile, laugh, pain, sorrow, tears all by yourself. perhaps it is this overwhelming feeling, that we seek to avoid it whenever we feel it approaches us, we seek to forget it.

it is within us, it will always be with us, the ghost of us; loneliness.